Introducing...

My niece Dahlia Emi born on Sunday October 14, 2007. Unlike my eldest sister's baby who looks nothing but Asian, my second sister's baby/ my niece looks nothing but Caucasian. I can't wait to meet her in real life. I bought two Paddington Bears in London and lugged it around Iceland for both my Niece and Nephew. I can't wait to see them both together.

Superman

To paraphrase a very wise (stoned out of his mind) Willie Nelson

Too may painkillers (projects), too much pot (school)
Trying to be something, that I'm not
Superman, Oh Superman
Tried to do more than I can...
I wasn't Superman.

After my surgery, I had two weeks off, and now I'm back in the same situation. Doctor says there's nothing wrong from all the tests. My body is now simply rebelling without a reasonable medical cause. Now at this point, I might bemoan god and scream out to the sky, "Why ME?" But quite frankly, Willie Nelson was right, I did more than I should and I'm paying for it now with my health. For years I barely slept, exercised little, ate poorly, and worked and worked and worked and worked at my ad agency, at school, and by doing freelance work. To add on, I lived the fast-paced NYC life and topped it all off with an intensive trip around the world to make up for all my working. Guess I wasn't Superman.

Down the Chicago River

The view on the way home from school. Its quite breath-taking at night but I'm sure in the winter I'll be running through this section when the "windy" part of the windy city combines with freezing cold weather and funnels over the river.

In the realm of women

"Do you think I did the right thing? YES. I guess I'll be missing my psych class tomorrow. next time, you'll find a more caring and decent boy. They're out there, its going to be ok. I want to go to Denver mom. we'll talk about it later.. rest for now."

I was in the hospital as I slowly came too after my surgery and overheard this conversation. My stomach hasn't been getting better and last week I went in to get minor surgery so that the doctors can examine the tissue. Now everyone is puzzled, I just hope that its an infection of some sort of antibiotics will end this. Ever since I've come to Chicago I've never slept so much in my entire life and not to spit on Chicago, but not being in NYC has probably allowed me to feel less pressured to be active. Never the less, this weekend I probably slept even more than my roommate's cat. Which, given a cat's tendency to sleep all day, is probably a major feat. Right now I'm awaiting the results from the exam and going to class to avoid thinking too hard about the results.

In the hospital, I was in the woman's wing and overhearing all stages of life. The girl next to me moaned and writhed in pain after her procedure while another woman wouldn't stop talking loudly about her entire life experience, starting with elementary school. Another women huffed in labor and in between I groggily slipped in and out of consciousness as the blood pressure machine pinched my arm tightly every 15 minutes to check on my condition. In the room women chattered, moaned and asked questions and occasionally men came and go. So much drama and so many stories in one little room, women are the subject of this room and men can do nothing but helplessly fret about their loved ones.

Centuries ago our lives used to be simpler; keep house, have children, cook dinner. We were traded into possession of other men along with sheep, horses, land, power or money. I should have breast fed four kids at my age, but instead I'm working on my third degree. Thank goodness I look younger than I am or during my travels I probably would have been received with looks of pity rather than protective concern in some of the countries I went to (they thought I was 18). Nowadays in America we have so much more on our plates, juggling the traditions while aspiring towards our dreams and goals and dealing with what the media tells us we should and must be. In between it all, many of us are trying to establish our independence, identity and a real sense of confidence. And to top it all off, we have to be women, which leads to another mountain of questions. What is feminism? What is feminine? Was the sexual revolution really liberation or did we just screw ourselves from being treated with honor and respect? Are we just fooling ourselves in thinking we can have everything? What happens if you don't pursue motherhood? Is this why so many women my age are "opting out"? Slipping in and out of consciousness for two hours I thought of the stories that we all have to tell, what a writer's dream a stay in the hospital could be. It definitely gives you food for thought.

chasing the sun

Cozumel, Mexico 2005

My first foray into underwater digital photography. Its hard. Fish don't pose for you and you have to keep yourself from floating away.

Belieze, 2004

I think it was 2004... This trip is missing an entire underwater section due to my negatives/slides shot as opposed to the good old digital. Sigh, maybe someday.

Thailand, 2000

A vast majority of my photographs are actually still in negative/slide format and will probably never see the light of day again... unless I become a millionaire and hire someone to scan and catalog everything. Since I don't forsee it anytime soon, a tip of the photos I took in film are presented here. I guess if I really do go to Thailand again, I will have to start over again.

I'm procrastinating, photos from Japan from 99'